Breakfast and Bling-Bling.

Had a very fun and full day today. It's Friday here and I had my dance class very early. I met Aparna at 7:30am to go through our lesson. We had to adjust our schedule to accommodate a press conference that she is holding. On November 10, 11, and 12 Kalabharati Foundation is hosting a dance showcase of classical Indian dance and will feature top performers from around India. This showcase will have all of the 8 styles represented and will draw large local interest. The event will be held in Cochin and I am very excited as I will be a guest of the school and will get to access meet and see all of the performers. Pretty damn cool!

Also of note: Aparna Marar, my teacher made the national paper \yesterday. Here is her interview in The Hindu. Quite a little mover and shaker she is.

After a very productive and early dance lesson. I raced home washed up and met up with my Father-in-Law (Appachan) for a breakfast. We ate at Sree Radakrishna Prasada. A cute, clean little vegetarian place.  My Father in Law is not vegetarian, in fact he prefers to have some form of non-veg with every meal. However, the only exception is dining out. He never eats meat outside his own kitchen. When I asked him about this he indicated that he does not trust the food quality or hygiene of outside kitchens, so eating meat can be dicey.

Paper Dosa, Ghee Dosa, and Vada with assorted Chutneys

We had a lovely breakfast of dosas and chutneys. I also had a Vada. No breakfast is complete for me without my Kappi (coffee) and for Appachan he needs his Chaia (tea). One thing that I will never be comfortable with is service in nice restaurants in India. When you go to a middle to upper scale indoor sit-down restaurant (not a roadside dhaba or hotel) the waiter will serve you. That is ... he will scoop up the food and put it on your plate. Then hover over the table and wait for you to take your last sip to refill your water glass, or dish more food on your plate...even whilst still eating. It is very odd/uncomfortable for me and I find myself fighting with the waiter to handle my own food. I am sure it is rude or awkward to them. Provides many smiles and laughter for my Father-in Law, who like my husband, revels in those awkward "cultural moments" I produce. I am an invaluable source of entertainment for these two fools. 

After breakfast I needed to stop by Goodwill Collections to get a few small items. I needed a hair straightener/curler that had and Indian electrical plug. I will take this with me to Delhi. I also wanted to look at some small trinkets. So this got all cocked-up as I walked in the door.

 

Immediately, like a crow I flew over to the sparkly stuff. Once a sales person sees that you are done for. This very nice gentleman said..."madame, please follow me"...um so I did. First mistake...don't ever follow and Indian salesman.  We went to the second level of the store which is ENTIRELY gorgeous sets of jewelry. I lost it...lost it. I was flitting around like a butterfly looking at ever piece, trying on every set. Appachan was given a chair (smart thinking sales dude) and I spent about one hour and twenty five minuets auditioning gorgeous expensive sets of jewelry. Trying them on...ladies would take these lovely pieces of sarees and drape them on your shoulder to give you the FULL EFFECT of what the set would look like.

This is my heaven. When I die, if I have been good, take me here for eternity, please.



After I chose my necklace, earring, tikka set, then we need to arrange for bangles. Now this is the magic zone. This is where very skilled men look at your set, or saree, or photo you bring in and start making you lovely bangle arrangements. Careful though ladies this is where they take you for an expensive ride...bangle sets can be gorgeous and costly because depending on the type of bangles they stack it can get very expensive. I lost this battle big time today. I could have gotten a simpler arrangement, and I kept pointing to the simpler bangles, but father-in law kept gesturing to the sales staff to ignore me and keep going. It was his way of enjoying the joy of his daughter in law. He is an incredible, kind man. I love him so much.


Once we complete the bangle sets, then of course we are not done. The sales clerk marches me to another counter for hair accessories, then another counter for rings, then another counter for anklets, "Madame do you have a purse?" Um..yeah like 50, but what the hell. Then up to the third store level hand bags and purses. I had to stop there. It was a crazy-ass shopping spree of massive proportions. All I wanted was a hair straightener....which we did finally get to last.

I feel pretty exhilarated, but also a little guilty. I am doing some serious study on this trip and didn't want all the glittery goodness of India to distract me. Luckily, I am set with all my fashions and accessories now.  In a few weeks I will complete my dance classes and then fly to Delhi for the biggest, fattest, Punjabi wedding known to man. So now I have my bling to go with my Lehnga.


I have a designer Lehnga being designed and made for me by my good friend, Daksha's mother. Daksha and her mother are bridal fashion designers and have a high-end boutique in Delhi. Their taste is exquisite and I have no doubt that their studio will make me something I will die over. They took my measurements and I gave them an example of a design I love (above photo). They will make something similar, but better quality and better design. This will be an amazing experience. Can't wait to see what she designs. Now I have the bling-bling to complete the Bollywood look.

What a day.

Namaste,
Christy

Looking like a dancer..

I am well into my second week of Bharatanatyam training and already I have learned a great deal of information. By the end of this week I will have completed all the adavus (basic movement combos) and their variations. I will have completed all my single handed mudras and uses. Next we will learn double handed mudras and uses, clean up and perfect the form and speed of all the tricky adavus, and then I will learn some simple Jatis (combo routines) to practice stringing the movements together to form dance phrases. Finally, I will learn a Padam.

A Padam is a dance item that is considered pure Nritya, that means it utilizes mostly the storytelling aspects of this dance form and little of the dance step movements. It is pure acting and pantomime with heavy use of facial expressions and hasta mudra. Basically, I will employ my entire body, face, and hand gestures to recite a poem/story/concept to the audience.

A Padam is a love poem or a expression of adoration towards God. It is generally taught much later in a dancer’s training, as it is considered quite difficult. However, Aparna, is a great actress, and she has identified in me some great qualities of acting and facial expression. She wants to put that to use and start training this talent. Not a surprise, Aparna wants to teach me a Padam. She is a great actress and her strength lies in her ability to emote a story. In fact, she is well known here in Kerala for her moving, expressive Mohiniyattam performances. I am quite honored to be learning from her talent.

Here is a video of a Padam by Souraja Tagore a acclaimed dancer from Kolkata.

Originally I was scheduled to learn the Alarippu. That is a pure dance item that is essentially a dance that drills usages of some of the (adavus) movements. We are choosing to skip learning the Alarippu at this time as my teacher feels a better employment of my short time here will be in developing my performance skills. She knows I have a teacher at home and feels the constant drilling needed to properly do the Alarippu will be better facilitated when I have more time to dedicate to practice.

Here is a video of what the Alarippu looks like. This dance is purely a rhythmic drill in three speeds and can display the dancers command of tala (beat) and control. 

 

The fact that I can emote on stage is something many people in my dance community have seen. My stylized renditions of Classic Bollywood flirtations and Mujra dances hopefully have left positive impressions on many in my local town. Bharatanatyam is an art form that will take that skill to the next level.

Upon learning this Padam I am anxious to perform a bit when I return home. Aparna is a great stage motivator – she is not at all apprehensive about pushing one to stage-perform. She believes a dance should be expressed publicly and it is through these open expressions you grow and perfect your craft.  Hell, I already have a costume on order for stitching, and will soon have another designed.

Speaking of, here is a photo of a very similar costume. The colors I chose where pink and green. These colors look great on me and will have great stage appeal. Bright color arrangements are popular in this dance form. The costume style I selected is pajama style with two fans. Other styles can include different fan style, or a skirt pattern. This style I chose is a the most used style in this dance. Learning to dance in it will be the next step.

Additionally, I am designing a second costume. I will in a few days return to Varna Dance Designs and pick out the fabrics, but here is a general picture of what I want. I will choose the fabrics and brocades in the store, but this is a general color/style combo. This costume is in the three fan style and I will have added a long pallu (long/loose end of a saree) to the back. This style is not a typical Bharatanatyam costume style - Aparna advised it is rather "old fashioned", she said it is considered a semi-classical type design. Which is good as I wanted to have one costume that will be good for possible fusion/semi-classical pieces. I will also buy extra fabric so I can have some different top choices made locally when I get home. Fun….who doesn’t love playing with costumes, right?  

In all class is going very well. I am a little shocked at how well my body is keeping up and feel great and very strong. Taking this risk and jumping off into a intensive Bharatanatyam dance study had really made me feel empowered. I only wish I had more time to spend here dancing. This is just a start…

Namaste,

Christy

Getting real...why am I in India...

This morning I am sitting on the veranda deep in thought about my experience so far here in India. I am ruminating on why this trip is so important for me and the path I chose to get here. Pretty deep thoughts for my morning’s coffee. 

The factors that lead me to taking this journey were, at the very least, three years in the making. I was for a time a lost person. I was a person stuck in a horrendous dead end job that broke me down emotionally and made me feel like I had no talent or worth. I bought into the system that flourishes in many corporate American offices, a system that did not speak to my individual creative talents, and in fact, a system that made me feel inadequate, mediocre, harsh, and stupid daily.

Before my seven and a half years at my previous employer, I worked many years in corporate jobs. The difference – I was also attending college/grad school simultaneously. When working and studying at the same time, you tend to have a detachment to the job, one where your priorities can never focus entirely on the employer’s need. You remain a worker-bee, and for many years while going to school I found this arrangement comfortable for me. I had bigger plans, and the job produced a paycheck.

When I joined Capella I had come right out of grad school. I had completed my studies and joined this academic institution with the intent to build a career in the higher education. In short, I was primed to join the working world as a “go-getter”.  After about 4 years of working hard and trying to establish a career path, I found the politics and social culture of corporate America disgusting, and in particular, I found the office culture of Capella was detrimental to my personal development. I stayed on only to complete an additional Master’s degree in Non Profit Management, which was nearly free to me as an employee. 

I realize many people work in great offices for wonderful companies. I realize that such things exist. However, one thing about self realization is knowing what fits you, and for me working in a corporate office is something that does not fit me. (Anymore) 

I am an abstract thinker, I am a extraordinarily passionate person, and when I see a river of information - I dive in head first.  I don’t like queues, I don’t like dishonesty, and I am absolute in my opinion. I communicate directly, transparently, and if I don’t like something I will tell you directly no matter your perceived position.  While I know I must learn to temper these traits, my experience at my previous employer taught me that my personality was harsh and reactive. The leadership of my department chose to treat me poorly – in part due to competitiveness, and in part due to their lack of competence. In all, I chose to buy into the idea that I was TOO direct, TOO hard, and NOT GOOD enough.

Fortunately, I am strong and somewhat arrogant, so this feeling of being not good enough couldn't persist. So I found things to make me feel good. This leads me in a long and winding way to discovering dance. I chose to escape this reality for a time by exploring my natural propensity to be creative. I went to school for art history. The methodology of that study feeds my analytical side, the art feeds my need to think in the abstract. Dance elevates this pursuit in a profound way. For me, it takes my natural analytical and abstract creativity and brings it to physical sphere. It lives in my body and emanates outward. It marries perfectly the union of mind, body, and soul. When I found dance, I found a missing piece of my life, or rather, I found the next phase of my personal development. I feel happy, whole, talented, and in connection with my spirituality when I engage my entire body in my creative expression.   

                      

While exploring dance and expression...(i've explored in many forms and styles over the last few years, from pole dance, to burly, to hip hop, to you name it..) I found a particular connection to Belly dance and Bollywood dance.  I have always loved Bollywood movies and music…since i was a teenager. Locally, I had been an active member of a Bollywood Society/Club for many years as well as an organizer for many of the Twin Citie's Bollywood events associated to that group. I developed great friendships and connections in that community, this was all previous to my exploration of dance.

Additionally to Bollwood dancing, I sought out learning Belly Dance from many local teachers about three years ago, and learned about the complexity of styles and histories associated to modern Belly dance. I found great teachers in all styles and tasted a little from each plate. Belly dance is amazing and empowering and I found in that circle a sisterhood of amazing women (and a few dudes) that have inspired me in great ways. It is being around those people, watching, and being inspired that lead me to explore further.

This leads me to Indian classical dance. I have for very many years been a lover of Indian classical dance and music. My absolute love for Classic Bollywood (swoon) is really a vein of my love of Indian classical arts. I have always thought these dance forms unattainable, and inaccessible, for many good and not so good reasons. It’s only from the empowerment and courage in the last few years that I garnered the courage to seek out a teacher and to commit to learning. From there it took on another form, it became a passion, something that I derived great power/worth, love, and meaning from. Something I want to work at, be good at, and experience. 

I started very briefly in Mohiniyattam with a great local teacher, Sona Nair. In a few lessons both her and I found that starting with Bharatanatyam would be a better fit. It is usually what people learn first before moving on to the other South Indian classical styles. She recommended a few teachers, I researched them and reached out. I found a great local teacher and I have been actively learning Bharatanatyam now for nine months.

This art form is hands down the hardest thing I have ever had to do. This is physically and mentally hard. The conditioning alone is rigorous and the dance form itself is hard. Most Indian classical dancers started dancing while young (ages 5-7) and developed their skill over many years. I am starting in my late 30’s. On top of age and physical difficulty, it is very foreign in concept. All of the terms are in Sanskrit, and many of the concepts in this dance form are absent from Western culture. The conventions of music and rhythm are drastically different. In short, I am re-learning daily how to stand, speak, count, think, and “be”, and then applying that to my dance.

In my journey, I have been nurtured by MANY great people. I will mention a few names below, but know, ALL of you have been a participants in my growth and I think about that daily.

One teacher, my first guru, pushed me to explore myself. To reach into my own soul, to fight my ego, to conquer the fear of judgment and create something real from my heart. She pushed me to scary dance stages and made me dance through the awkwardness, she gave me permission to be great, or to suck, or to just be….she loved me and allowed me to grow. She was the gardener there to tend to the growing flower. To Deepa (Fyresnake Shirvana) my gardener, thank you.

My second guru, Lesley, who shows me how to have fun. She gave me a real vocabulary, some serious fusion-chops. She lets me play and took my dance to the next level. She made me look like a belly dancer.. and let me choose how that dancer looked. She showed me rules are nice, but being a rebel is where the real fun is. To Lesley, the rebel, thank you.

My third guru, Narayanee.- my first Bharatanatyam teacher. She encourages me to be brave and learn something that is so far from my cultural understanding. She teaches me that dance is essential to people like us, it is like air and water. She pushes me with grace and helps me to understand physical pain and exhaustion. She encourages my exploration and inspires me to be better. She is my coach, and my cheering squad. Her love continues to guide me, it watches me from afar and whispers in my ears … it followed me to India where I continue with her sitting on my shoulder. To Narayanee, my angel, thank you.

To my fourth guru, Aparna. She has taught me grace and form. She has made me sweat, and continues to push me every day. Her eye for line and perfection is exquisite. She is my disciplinarian and keeps me accountable beyond bad habit and fatigue. She has made me feel like a Bharatanatyam dancer in this short time, and with work and practice I am looking more like one daily. She teaches me about the legacy and helps me understand my connection and role in this ancient craft. She guides me in both the focus and the spirituality of this dance. She is the gatekeeper, the sage. To Aparna, my tiny sage, thank you.

This endeavor IS difficult, but it is also rewarding. Like a puzzle piece missing that has now been placed.  THIS is my new purpose, one of self discovery, one of re-learning, and one of re-definition. No more NOT GOOD enough. I will re-learn new realities, new perspectives and embrace the journey. This mindfulness will continue as I go to my Yoga training in December and I will bring this new energy, new knowledge, and  new passion back home. I will learn this new way of living and let it wash over into other aspects of my life. That is the WHY to why I am here.

This long cathartic post has been a long time coming. Thanks to a schedule conflict I have an open morning and an afternoon practice. Good bloggin' time.. To those who read this, thank you. This journal/blog is such a wonderful form of therapy for me, and I want to tell all my friends about the adventures and discoveries I am making. If I could bring you all with in some small way I would. It is my hope that this blog serves that. Love from India.

This is one of my favorite photos.
Seems appropriate. I look in the mirror and a dancer stares back.
Thank you to:
 D Mad Photograpy,
Madhu Bangalore, 2014

Namaste,

Christy

Wedding number 1 - Wedding Season India...

Attended a Tamil-Brahman wedding this morning at the crack of dawn. We set on the road at 7:00am to drive to Cochin, which is about a 45 minute drive.  Hindu weddings usually start early in the morning with a breakfast and continue to the ceremony. It is considered auspicious to marry between the hours of 9:30am and 10:30am. Muhurtham is the term used to describe this auspicious time frame. The ceremony lasts many hours and generally takes place on a platform with the pujaris (priests) bride and groom at the center and immediate family members.

Appachan and I ran into some hectic traffic on the way to the wedding so we missed the breakfast portion. To endure the long ceremony we decided to stop at a roadside hotel for a quick breakfast of masala dosas and coffee. A note to readers: a hotel in South India refers to a cafe style restaurant, not an actual western style hotel. After a quick bite we dashed to the ceremony.


When we arrived there was a large decorated room with portable chairs arranged and hundreds of guests sitting and watching the ceremony. Unlike a Western wedding ceremony the attendants do not sit quietly until the ceremony is over, they mingle and chat as the ceremony is taking place on the platform. I wandered around taking pictures and chatting with the guests. I stand out being a foreigner so many are curious to know me and take me aside and explain the festivities. It was a wonderful lively wedding.

The ceremony itself is complex. It has many parts to it and the bride, groom, and family all take part in elaborate rituals. I am not going to explain each part of the wedding, that info can be researched, but it is important to note that Hindu weddings differ quite a bit depending on where you are in India.



Bollywood has elevated the wonderful drama of North Indian weddings to stagecraft. We see these movies and the color and dancing and assume that all weddings follow this same format. In reality these ritual weddings can differ greatly. All are beautiful, but South Indian weddings in particular have a very traditional feel. They are austere and serious. It will be a great experience to attend a big North Indian - Punjabi extravaganza later this month in Dehli, then Ajith's cousin's Syrian Christian wedding in Kerala in January. I will compare them to this Tamil-Brahman wedding. I feel blessed that I will be able to see many weddings on this visit to India. I will be sure to post pictures.

Below are some pictures, and at the very end of the blog I posted a few videos. Appologies for poor quality. It was hard to get a clear line of site with all the people traffic on and off the platform.

 

After a few hours they started serving the sadya in the lower level of the building. A Hindu sadya is a great experience. It is a traditional South Indian meal that is entirely vegetarian. It is served on a banana leaf and men come around and dish tiny portions onto your leaf. I can clumsily liken it to a buffet that comes to you, or dim sum, only the portions are tiny. Just enough for a taste. It was delicious and the best part was the hot payasams that come at the end. Payasam is a South Indian pudding made of milk, jaggery, and lentils/rice. There are wide varieties, but today's was a delicious milk payasam that tasted like hot milky caramel. I loved it. The only downside to a sadya is you have to eat fast. They have hundreds of guests at a traditional Hindu wedding and they often let people eat in shifts. About 15 minutes, then they start to clear the placements fold up the leaves and lay new fresh table covers and banana leaves. In all a wonderful experience.



Namaste,

Christy

Bharatanatyam Shopping Spree...Wheeee!!!

Today was a very exciting day. I went to Varna Dance Designs, a local store that specializes in all types of classical and modern Indian dance costuming. Aparna was gracious enough to take me. This is the place she always uses for her professional costumes. They do good work and have some of the best designers on staff in Kerala. 

The process of was very interesting. In the shop they have hundreds of fabrics, brocades and trims to choose from. They also have ready made costumes for rental. With the help of a costume designer and Aparna's eye we chose a color combination and pattern that I felt would suit me. These costumes come in many varieties of styles. They can be hard to wear, let alone dance in. I picked a sturdy silk fabric and a bright color combination that I feel will suit me and look well on a stage. I chose a design that Aparna recommended for beginning dancers. These costumes have elaborate pleated fans that open when dancing in a half-sitting position. I chose a costume in a pajama-style that has a moderate fan, as it will accommodate a beginner dancer's stance more than some of the more elaborate long fans.   

Once the seamstress took my specific measurements and confirmed my fabric choices we set up a date for pick up. They are a busy store so it will be a number of weeks until it is ready. This process would have been nearly impossible without Aparna. She has been a great teacher and friend to me. I appreciate all that she has done and love the time we spend together.

Additional to the costume, I also purchased the full jewlery accessory set. The ornaments also come in different styles. They have similar stonework, but the styles can vary quite a bit. I also picked up some professional grade gungroos and some other dance items. I will return for the hair accessories as all of them are created for black hair. I have hair falls, but the hair ring will be something I may need to make specially for my hair color. Aparna and I may plan a secondary trip to a supply outlet so I can get some raw items to create my own hair pieces. Once I get my costume back we are planning a dress up lesson. She will teach me the proper way to wear the outfit, a hair and make-up tutorial, and of course practice dancing in it. I will be sure to take great pictures. What an amazing experience. 

Namste, 

Christy