Dance School: Day Five

Today I completed my fifth day of Bharatanatyam dance school. I feel really good about what I have so far accomplished. My thighs are getting stronger and now I can move from half sitting posture to full sitting with ease. I feel strong I still have some aches, but these are good aches.

I am getting very well acquainted with my Guru, Aparna. She is a very ambitious young woman. At her very tender age of 24 she is a touring dancer with awards, a co-creator/director of a cultural heritage foundation, a small business owner, and mother to a one year old. She has an amazing amount of energy. In fact, her energy inspires me to push hard. She believes in hard work and practice and has quite a bit to teach me about letting go of ego and learning. She is a gracious teacher, a patient teacher, a bit of a perfectionist, and someone who believes in my talent. I now have two such great teachers. One in India, and one back home. I owe these ladies my hard work. A humble thank you to both of them.

 

Below are some pics of the Kalabharathi foundation's office and school. It is a nice location with a number of rehearsal spaces for musicians and dancers. The lower offices are always filled with staff, mostly young people who work at the foundation. Many of them are dancers and musicians. They are sweet to me when I arrive each morning. Rather shy, only one or two have been brave enough to come chat with me. This space has a large outdoor dance area, audience area, and stage. It is out of use as it once had a roof, but a downed tree required the roof to be taken down. Now there is a large apartment/condo building being built behind the foundation, so it is too loud to use the space until construction is finished.

  

Here is my practice room. Unlike western dance studios Indian dance is usually the Guru and the student(s), no mirrors, no barre. Always an alter to Lord Shiva and just the essential needs. Usually the teacher sits at the front on the mat and marks the tala and speaks the chollu. (That is musically and vocally establishes my beat, rhythm, and speed to dance to.) This is the room I practice in for 2 hours daily every morning. It is becoming like a second home. 

Dance Room - This is where I practice and learn every day.

                   

On November 10, 11, and 12 I will be accompanying my teacher, Aparna to this dance and music festival. It is something her organization is co-producing and will feature talent from around India. She is excited to have me meet the dancers and spend a few days seeing all the dance formats and meeting people. What a great opportunity. I am very excited.

  In addition to that Aparna will take me shopping Saturday. Bharatanatyam shopping!! I am to be fitted for my very first Bharatanatyam costume. I squealed a little when she told me this. "What colors will you pick?" She will show me a few styles today so I know a little more about the choices I have. But basically, she says, you buy a saree then pay the stitching fee. WOW! I am over the moon. Dancers love their costumes....FACT. And this dancer, seriously loves costumes. We will get all the accessories from head to toe. How absolutely exciting. 


Namaste,
Christy

Establishing My Daily Regimen...

Practicing my Natta Adavu - in Aramandi (half sitting) position

I finished my third day of Bharatanatyam class and can now establish my daily regimen to assist with my muscular conditioning and learning retention.

Needless to say my quads are burning from use. I expected this amount of muscular pain and I know once this pain subsides my legs will be stronger and allow me to sit in deeper positions for longer. These first two weeks will be very hard and physical for me. No pain, no gain, right?

My whole purpose for this endeavor was to establish a practice and find personal discipline in a physical, mental, and spiritual way.  So far, this trip is turning out to create wonderful new life habits. I have been vegetarian while here in India, and while I still indulge in a soda every now and then, I am slowly curbing that habit. That is HUGE for me. I don't deny myself sweets, but luckily in India I don't really find the sweets to be a temptation. They lack the crack as I like to say. Most sweets here are not like the high-fructose corn syrupy heaven we know. If I am being honest I would slap someone for some Skittles right now. Soldiering on...

To give my readers a very basic overview of the learning process and what my daily life will look like for the next thirty days of Bharatanatyam training, I will explain in detail my daily regimen. Some of the language I will use to explain these concepts is a bit dense but the dance/yoga components themselves are quite complex. I will try and explain them in the best way I know how. Apologies if this is all a bit much to read. The action of writing it all down helps me learn and retain some of this new language. I hope it can also make for good reading.

Daily, I wake up at about 7:30am. I get up and do my daily yoga. My yoga regimen is to prepare me for my upcoming yoga teacher training in December. This daily regimen has been sent to me from the Yogis of the program. Its purpose is to condition my body for a more intensive practice, and help me familiarize myself with their yoga format. It's important to note there are many yoga formats, this practice will help rework some of the asana trainings (yoga positions) that differ in the Western yoga vocabulary and help me adjust to this more pure form of asana practice.

For now the daily yoga consists of the Ashtanga Surya Namaskara A & B as well as some select sitting positions of the primary series. Added are some pranayamas (breathing)  and meditative exercises. I do this simple practice for between 30-45 mins after I wake. I have been doing this specific practice daily for a month prior to arriving in India and it is improving daily. Yoga is a daily practice not a stretch or a warm up. It is not about flexibility or athletic acumen. It is about practice daily- discipline. More on that in other posts.

To this daily practice I have now added my thigh conditioning. This is a series of squat exercises I do to strengthen my inner and outer thighs. Bharatanatyam dance is done in a half sitting pose known as aramandi, it is a quite unnatural position to western dancing and requires a large amount of leg conditioning and strength. Once I complete those exercises I review briefly the training from the previous day and work on my assigned shlokas and hastas.  A shloka is a chant or prayer that is sung. There are many shlokas that Bharatanatyam dancers must know. Of all these the Dhyana Shloka is the most important.

Angikam Bhuvanam Yasya 
Vachikam Sarva Vangmayam 
Aaharyam Chandra Taradi
Tvaum Numa Saattvikam Shivam

Lord Shiva Nataraja

In my lessons I am learning all the adavus, which is a series of combination steps. There are many adavus and within those there are up to 8 variations in the steps (note: all steps include differing arm arrangements) and each must be learned at 3 speeds...slow, medium, and fast.  These drills and combo steps are the basic language of Bharatanatyam dance. So daily I review my days previous adavus, get corrections, learn new adavus to take home and practice. In addition to my combination step training, I learn four hasta mudras daily and their uses (viniyogas).  I recite shlokas and learn theory.  I will also learn the all chollus (spoken counts) to the adavus and learn to use the nattuvangam (both block and chime). In time, I will also in time learn an item, or what we would call a dance piece.

Wooden Nattuvangam 

My lessons run about two hours daily. I dance in a single room, no mirrors. The only items in this space are a small alter with the Lord Shiva Nataraja, rugs for sitting, a wooden nattuvangam (small stick and wood block for marking the beats), a single chair, and a white board. There are mounted fans and an AC unit. We use the fans but my teacher prefers for us to learn without the use of air conditioning. She says sweat is purifying and that it is good for exercise. I am OK with this for in December I will be practicing yoga in extreme South India - it will be hot/humid and we will be practicing in an outdoor shala. Getting acquainted with pools of sweat now is an advantage for me.

More on how this practice develops over the next 30 days. Now it is really in its infancy. I feel good, outside the leg aches. The meditation and focus is liberating. It is a start of something new and great. Something I have wanted to develop, something I deserve. I am excited for the changes to come.

Namaste,
Christy

Off to dance school...

I finished my first class today at the Kalabharathi Foundation. This foundation offers classes in Bharatanatyam and Mohinniyattam dance styles as well as Carnatic and Hindustani music. The organization was started in 2010 and since then as become a great leader in the heritage arts community of Kerala.  My teacher is one of the founders of this organization, Aparna B. Marar. She is an accomplished dancer in three of the eight classical Indian dance styles as well as a noted musician and vocalist. She is very academic in the study of art and dance, and I was pleased to find she also studies under Dr. Padma Subramaniam. This makes two connections to this amazing dancer and scholar. Not too shaby for a humble Minnesota girl exploring this wonderful dance form. I feel very fortunate to have these connections and to be under the tutelage of such well trained dance gurus.

In my lesson today we covered quite a large amount of information. I learned in depth about the Natya Shastra, and the pre-history, history, and modern history of this dance style. We spoke of the elements of this dance form and how the art form relates back to the Natya Shastra. I took lots of notes and was kindly offered books for my personal study. Aparna is highly academic and she insists that a healthy understanding of these ancient texts and ideas are important to the development of her dancers. I have been given full access to her extensive library and encouraged to take advantage of that. As an Art Historian this is like being granted access to a desert buffet. I am devouring all I can and enjoying being engorged in this knowledge.

After a very in depth and long lesson in the theory, I went through a drill of all the adavus I know. I was nervous about this. After this we started from the beginning and reviewed. She was impressed with my scene of rhythm. I also had been working on stamina so I impressed myself with stamina. We know have established a basis and she feels very confident that I will be able to complete the syllabus she has arranged plus learn one item piece.

In two weeks there is a large dance festival in Cochin. Her organization will be one of the contributing sponsors/organizers and they are hosting a number of classical dancers from all over India. In all 8 of the classical disciplines. She has invited me as her guest as this will be a great opportunity to meet dancers and see many of these forms in full access. I am very excited for this.

Today was a great opportunity for me to get to know Aparna, as well as for her to understand my passion for exploring this dance form. I spoke with her about my plans to study Ashtanga later in December. She was excited at this prospect and felt my ideas to explore these two forms together would be highly beneficial. We connected on some ideas about mind-body balance and the importance of art in development of character. In fact, I was pleased to find that she travels twice a year to the USA to work with an organization that uses Bharatanatyam and other musical/dance forms to help children with special developmental needs. This work will bring her to the USA in late January and February where she will also be performing.  An open invitation to come do some work with her and dance while stateside was expressed. I replied...."Let us first walk before we run."

Namaste,
Christy

Preparation for Class..

Tomorrow I start my Bharatanatyam classes at 10:00am sharp at the Kalabharati school. The school is located in the heart of Thrissur city. I am a bit nervous and excited to meet my teacher, Aparna. I do want to make a good impression.  I have prepared a guru dakshina for my teacher. A dakshina is an offering to your teacher that symbolizes the appreciation, respect, and commitment of the student to the intended study, knowledge of the teacher, and the process of learning. A traditional dakshina will have the following items...

betal nuts
betal leaves
money in the form of a coin

Other offerings can include fruit, sweets, coconut, garlands of flowers.

The dakshina is presented to the guru in your hands and often laid at the foot of the teacher or offered to her then presented as puja to Sri Shiva Nataraja. In traditional Hindu monetary offerings the amounts are presented in 1's or odd numbers.. so, for instance,  if the payment/offering is 100 rupees, I would offer 101 rupees as the odd number is considered auspicious and any even amount inauspicious.

Here is a video of my teacher dancing Bharatanatyam.

I just spoke with Aparna via telephone. She is a touring professional dancer and just arrived back from a series of shows in Dubai. We are excited to meet each other. She expressed that my knowledge and commitment to this art has impressed her. That calmed my nerves, as I feel old and nutty persuing this at times. It was a kind thing of her to say, I feel better.

Tonight I will review the footwork I know and do some drills to increase stamina. I must above all remember to let go of that ego and do my best. Don't be nervous, but be excited this is a wonderful opportunity to learn and this will be awesome.

Namaste,
Christy

Universal youth culture and sparkly things..

Today I got to go out shopping to get some simple items. I needed some clothes for my upcoming dance classes at the Kalabharati school. I have lots of yoga gear but wanted some simple, inexpensive Indian kurtas and leggings to wear for dance class. I am not sure how the private class will be conducted yet, not sure if there will be others taking classes in other studios, or in general the amount of people that will be around the dance studio. I wanted to make sure I have clothes that were appropriate if there were other people around. Wearing tight yoga gear in public in Thrissur would create much attention and make me stand out more than I already do.

Anju (Ajith's sister) took me to the newer Selex Mall. She does not like shopping but she was good in helping me find the right fit, and the right kurtas for my needs. I got to explore the newer mall. Thrissur has many malls this one was new since I had been to Thrissur. 

One universal truth about malls, no matter where in the world you go all malls collect teenagers and young people. They hang out, meet friends, window shop, flirt, and enjoy their youth. I love youth culture. I am inspired by their creativity and their joy. I happened on this scene at the Sapphire Cool Hut. Some college kids singing American music. I walked over and started taping. It made my day. Check it out. Internet stars direct from Thrissur Selex mall. 

 Selex had some nice shops and also had a Elite Supermarket. I picked up some biscuits, qtix (nail polish), bindis, snacks.  I LOVE shopping in grocery stores when I travel. I mean the saree shops and designer wear boutiques are cool, but you really get a feel for where you are when you peruse a grocery aisle. I looked like a hilarious American snapping pics of soap and hair products. I told Anju to give me distance as she may be embarrassed by me taking pictures. As I have posted before, I will never fit in, so why not?

Elite Supermarket - Popular Kerala supermarket chain

Bangles at the beauty counter

Biscuits

Soaps

Movies and CDs

Sweets Counter

I picked up some formal shoes for Delhi, ones that I can wear and dance in at the wedding festivities. It's a North Indian wedding there will be lots of dancing. A good shoe is imperative to Indian wedding wear. Looking at the shoes I was telling Anju I have a million friends at home that would go crazy for some of these little shoes. She giggled. All the sandals are glittery and elegant. Anju, who generally goes for a sensible, flat chappal (sandal) tried on a sparkly pair. I was shocked. I teased her and said.. "I have NEVER seen you wear a sparkly anything." 

Shoe shopping...I loved these pair.

Today was a very good day. I got to make Anju laugh and come out of her shell a bit. She is a shy, smart, wonderful person, a doctor and a mother ...she does not like to attract attention. Her sister in-law is a loud, funny, attention-seeking kind of girl. We are opposites and today was very good. 

Speaking of sparkle and sensible shoes, It is wedding season in India. It has only been 3 whole days and I already have received an invitation to a wedding. It will be next week. A local couple, colleagues of my Father in Law have extended and invitation to me, and in true Indian style refuse to let me say no. We have other obligations but we can attend the reception. It will be a nice way to meet more of my Father-in-laws professional and personal family friends, an opportunity to dress up (which I love), and an opportunity to eat. Wedding feasts in India are the best. A buffet of curries, rices, salads, sweets. Who doesn't love that, right? 

Namaste,

Christy

Visits and settling in...

The next few days will be a series of visits and settling in. One of the largest things one must do when getting here is work hard to adjust your sleeping patterns. Kerala is hours ahead of Minneapolis, that means when it is night there it is day here. My body is doing all it can to catch up to that difference.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to visit some relatives and family friends. Word is out that I am in town so people invite us for Chai or arrange social calls. Usually at these visits I meet other people, or some of their neighbors and friends will drop by. The temptation to meet a foreign visitor is one that brings people over. At one such visit I met a wonderful woman yesterday who was a Hindustani singer. Her profession was one that she taught English Literature in one of the local schools, but her passion was Hindustani music. She knew the Kalabharati school well, and knew Aparna my teacher who I will meet soon. She was very excited to hear that I will be studying Bharatantyam dance with her, and wanted to introduce me to other dancers she knows. She delighted me with a song. She had a magical voice and I told her I wanted to hear her sing again. Next time I come visit I will record her singing.

Here is a video of what Hindustani singing sounds like if curious.

There are a few changes to Thrissur since my last visit two years ago. The city is getting bigger, I notice more people, more cars every time I come back. Appachan has a new driveway pavement that I enjoy sweeping every morning. It is my one one chore I insist on doing, the others I usually have to fight him over.

Today's plan:
A visit to Parvatty - that is another part of town where Ajith's sister lives. I will spend all day over there, maybe get some shopping done. Mary Aunty (Ajith's sister's mother in law) has two nieces staying from Delhi. I am excited to meet them maybe as visitors we can break out and find something to do. More to come.

Namaste,
Christy

Arrival in India

I arrived in Cochin International Airport at about 3:15am local time Tuesday morning. Tired.
I LOVE arriving in Kerala. The humidity hits you the moment you step out of the pressurized cabin. Kerala has a "dewey" smell like wet grass and ponds. It is one of my favorite things on this earth. Subsequently, I get what I call Kerala-hair. My hair gets wavy and thick in the humidity...notice I did not say frizzy...which is a more appropriate adjective.

Cochin is ALWAYS busy. Where the hell do all these people come from? I got my bags efficiently off the baggage carousel. One of the courteous/flirtatious men from the flight saw me grab my bags and immediately put my luggage on the carrier for me. Very nice of him. My experience in India is one where I am usually waited on. This is unusual for me, at times hard for me. I am a pragmatic Midwestern American, it is hard to divorce that independent spirit we have. Men in general in India are very chivalrous to women, there are rules to how you treat women, open car doors, carrying objects, a politeness. That is my experience, but I am also a guest. I won't go hardcore into that...there is a complexity to that subject that a blog post cannot do justice to, for now I will just enjoy kindness.

I was immediately picked up by Appachan and Ajish. Ajish is my father in law's loyal driver. He has been really good to me in the past. Protective. However, truth be told he is a somewhat hectic driver. It took me a few visits/years to get used to his aggressive Indian driving. Now it doesn't even phase me.

I arrived home and immediately unpacked. separated the Yoga clothes and packed them away for December. I won't need them while in Thrissur. I have a closet full of enough clothes here in India to get by. I have shoes, sarees, kurtas, suits all in the wardrobe. I just bring a few pajama's and pairs of jeans.  Most of my packing was food/snacks, gifts, and sundry items. I am very picky about my hair and body products.


Had a great breakfast. Chapatis and curry waiting for me. Appachan is over the moon for my visit and I love his hospitality. He makes the BEST Madras coffee.

I  Had:
Kozhi Curry - Kerala style chicken curry
Parripu - a dal curry made with coconut and spices.
Mezhukku Puratti - which is eggplant and other vegitables cooked in spices, and a raw papaya and yogurt curry, very sour.
Ripe bananas, rice, chapati, papads (all the standard fixins).

I had some chicken - really to be polite, but I am trying to eat vegetarian for my stay.

Spent the afternoon resting, specifically sitting on the veranda and watching the people come in and out of the offices across the street. I have not visited Kerala in two years, and in that time this street has become very commercial with a new busy bus stop and a records office directly across the busy road. Lots of people watching, foot traffic, auto-rickshaws, ladies in colorful sarees. Once and a while I am spotted and waved at.

Had a great visit with Anju, Cherish, Johan and little Tanya-kutty. (Ajith's sister, brother-in-law, and niece and nephew). Tanya is now one and is so cute and squishy. It was a quick lunch and visit. I fell asleep on them. Jet lag sucks.  More visits in store in the days ahead.

Plan tomorrow: Rest more. Perhaps take the auto-rikshaw into town and get some dance kurtas/pants. Aparna has a practice saree for me. I may get some Dakshina items. Do this thing rite. Maybe I will get a vegetable puff or a paper dosa..always about the food. YUM!

I start my dance training Sunday. I pulled the padding out of my gungroos, re-sewed the backing. Made them more comfortable for me.  I will spend time reviewing in the next few days to make a great impression. I do my squats daily, yoga, breath, and meditate to prep my body. Did I mention I was scared? Yep, scared to do this. I'm old, out of shape, and this is a bit nutty. I'll be fine. Breathe!

Namaste,
Christy

Never gonna fit in...hilarity ensues.

Travel to India is always hard. The flights are long and cramped and I am a person that needs to work on patience...especially when it comes to lines, or waiting, or any other form of human group behavior.

Chicago O'Hare had nearly a 6 hour layover, this reduced my ticket price in a way that would warrant anyone to endure a six hour layover anywhere. However long it was pleasant. I used the airport's awesome little yoga room. They have a little private yoga studio in Terminal 3. You must remove your shoes and no speaking is allowed. I did some sun salutations, breathing and meditating for about an hour. It was so refreshing and impressive. I also noticed many of the flight crews used this room for yoga. I chatted with a pilot once we were finished using the room. I don't know about you, but the idea of a calm, centered, yoga minded pilot is very comforting to me. He flew for Delta...just saying. Pretty cool.

Spending that long in an airport you sit quite a bit, I spent half of my layover in the main rotunda around domestic terminals 1, 2, and 3. I found a quite spot near the Urban Garden to read. Then once they posted my flight's gate information I headed to Terminal 5, which required me to leave the secured area and take the tram, then reenter through security. 

 In terminal 5, I had a hard time getting a WiFi connection. (hence this late post) so I did the next best thing. Sat in the terminal's swankiest bar. When you sit at an airport bar people are chatty and I met some interesting folk. I met a Lutheran minister, we had common connections to folks at Concordia. He was on his way to Nigeria for work and his best friends wedding. I also met this really cool man who was flying to Warsaw to meet his online girlfriend of two years for the first time, ever. He was excited and nervous. We chatted about our trips, yoga, Buddhism,- he was a cool old hippie that was "into Buddhism" - he showed me his meditation bell app for his phone. Rings a chime on every hour. "Keeps me focused" he said. I liked this guy he had a meditation bell app and he was taking a giant leap of the heart. What is not to love about his audacity...."don't worry about the in-person shit...obviously there is a connection, she invited you to her home, right?"  My sage advise to him, don't worry he was well aware that I had no authority on this subject. Namaste and good luck, dude.

Abhu Dhabi airport is another story. It's in general a giant high end mall. With duty free liquors and shops like Givenchy, Chanel, Hermes...things I think are pretty, but rather expensive and indulgent. I prefer to grab a coffee and watch people stare at me rather than shop for things I don't need. So that's what I did.

This starts the "never gonna fit it" portion of my travels. From Abu Dhabi onward I will always stand out. What people say about white-skinned/blonde women traveling in Middle East and India is true, people watch you, notice you. It can be a leering, depends on who the eyes belong to. But in general its just people watching....shit, being an Olympic-level people watcher, I get it. I would stare at my weird-ass too. 

Speaking of, once we boarded the flight I found myself seated almost exactly in the middle of 4 rows of young Malayalee male gulf workers. All of my Indian friends that just read this just collectively did a "uh-oh" and laughed out load hysterically. What this means for the others unfamiliar, is that these are young single guys who travel to the "gulf " to do construction jobs, or lite clerical office work. Soft-skill workers. They are paid a good wage for Indian standards and probably all going back home for a visit in between jobs. The general stereotype is...these guys are flush with money, like to drink, and are a bit unsophisticated and rough around the edges. 

 True, they took full advantage of the free Dewars on the generous Ethiad flight. The nice man next to me had six whiskey sodas. SIX.  My flight and my rows were lively. This group was rowdy, but they were also very polite to me. I was able to test my Malayalam a bit. Gave them giggles and surprises with my childish Malayalam. "Tanga" or "Pucha" - in an American Midwestern accent must have been hilarious to the tipsy crew. I chatted a little with the man across the aisle, he spoke a little English, all of them had limited English, but they were very nice to me. Respectful. I helped one with is immigration forms and had extra pens for the others. I shared my Pringles and gave another the bread and salad from my dinner. We had  high-fives over skydiving videos that were playing on the entertainment screens. In return, my comfort was attended to. I never had to reach for that attendant call light, and when I got up they all stood up, even if not seated in my row. Who says chivalry cannot happen at high altitudes?! Ajith laughed hysterically upon hearing this story. Hysterically. That is just one of the many reasons I love Ajith. Good times.

Namaste, 
Christy

Flight Hum...

I am sitting in the O'Hare Airport's Urban Garden taking advantage of the free electricity and long layover. Good time to write a post. I will board about 8:00pm tonight from Chicago to Abu Dhabi and that flight is about 16 hours. I've been on it a few times and I hate to say it, but it never gets shorter. Traveling to India is a long hard trip. It’s well worth it though.  My flight plan is from Minneapolis to Chicago through Abu Dhabi then finally to Cochin. I will land in Cochin around 3:00am local time Tuesday morning (but that is Monday evening about 5:00pm for my Midwestern friends).  I am traveling on Etihad Airlines. I am a fan of this airliner. They have nice planes and friendly air hosts.  I probably won’t be able to post a blog when I get to Abu Dhabi, my layover is rather short. Just enough time to go through the security checks and throw elbows to the front of the line to board the plane. Trust me when you board the flight to Cochin all manners must be tossed aside as Indian rules will then apply. All my Indian friends are nodding in agreement as they read this.

My flight strategy is to be sleepy and slightly drunk when I board. This is a tried and true way to sleep through the hum of a 787’s massive roar. I have successfully slept almost the whole way through without sleep aids in the past. Let’s see how I fare this time.

Travel is exciting, but the actual flying and sitting in lonely airports part kinda sucks. I will tell you all a secret. I have a silly ritual when I fly. I say a little prayer for myself and all others on the flight as our cabin lifts into the air. It just seems like a comforting thing to do. I also listen to the song "I Can't See New York" by Tori Amos before I fly. I've done that ever since she wrote the song. Every time I board an airplane I play it as soon as we get to main altitude and the pressure in my ears settle. It is one of my favorite songs ever written. If familiar with the song it seems like an odd choice, some could say it could be dark, but I find it to be so amazing to hear when floating above the world far above where any person should ever naturally be. What can I say. I'm odd and my habits follow at times.

…From here

no lines are drawn
From here
no lands are owned
13,000 and Holding
Swallowed in the purring
of her Engines
tracking the Beacon here
"Is there a Signal
there on the other side"

On the other side?

What do you mean side of what things?

….and you said
you would find me here
and you said
you would find me
even in Death
and you said
and you said
You'd find me

But I can't see New York
As I'm circling down
through white cloud
Falling out and I know
his lips are warm
but I can't seem to find
my way out
my way out
of your hunting ground

From here
crystal meth
In meters of millions
In the end all we have,
soul blueprint.
and did we get lost in it
do we conduct a search for this
"from the other side"
From the other side?
What do they mean
side of what things...

I Hum from the other side…

I’m on my way see you on the other side.

Namaste,

Christy

To do list...Squats

I leave Sunday (10/19) and have pretty much all things organized and in order.  Plans, flights, payments, all now are totally secured.  Shopping is done, the only thing left to do is to get all these items into a suitcase, so really that is a very small part.  I am feeling rather accomplished.

Now I can relax a bit. I will miss so many fun people. Miss my belly dancin' gals, my Bollywood peeps, friends, co-workers, family, kittehs, Ajith --Thank God I can stalk all of you on Faceboob. Not to worry, I will meet up with some special people in the next few days. Wish happy birthdays, visit, and just have laughter and hyjinx. Tomorrow is my last day at Capella. That has been a long time coming. Change is sometimes hard, but also needed.

Last night I had my last lesson with Narayanee.  A big review session. She has prepared me well.  As an aside, I really enjoyed making her laugh, sometimes I get tired and my legs and hands stop speaking to each other. I am sure it is a hilarious thing to watch.  In my final lesson we went over all the adavus I know and I was able to establish a sound understanding of where I am at, what I need to improve, and where my strength is.

• My strengths: I have a strong core. Thank you (belly dancing and Pilates) this is a bonus and will no doubt be good for me soon.  I also have a great grasp of rhythm.  My feet can naturally do some of the fast beat footwork…..that is incidentally exactly what I loved about Kathak practice - those drut teentaal (fast -16 beat round) foot drills. 
• What needs work:  Foot/arm/hand coordination. This comes with time and drilling.  I am confident that I will get there, in time.  I must remember to be patient.  
• My weak points: My thighs and quads, (literally). I need some serious upper leg conditioning.  I started last night some gentle quad conditioning (squats) to help get them warmed up and a bit stronger.  

I will remember Naraynee’s pep talk. She said “have fun above everything else!”  She is right.  I need to accept the limitations of my body,  stop fearing that I will be no good,  build it up slowly and learn what I can and above it all love doing it.  

This leads me to another concept I have been trying to accept for myself, something big and lofty and miles away right now….to practice without ego.

I came across this blog at the Samyak student graduate’s page. This young lady just recently graduated from Samyak’s Hatha Yoga training in Dharamshala this past summer. Her post on “Five Things I Learned While Attending Yoga School” really moved me.  It made me think about the ego and how it is involved in so much of what we do.  To learn to dance without ego, or practice any yoga without ego seems a heavy goal. It was a comfort to read how she felt upon completing the program and what she learned.  I am excited to learn some of these same things, know them, and then practice them in all the aspects of my life.  It was very moving for me to read.

Below is an excerpt from Alissa McKnight’s blog post entitled “The Beginning”.  Please see the entire post here.

Five things I learned from attending yoga school:

5. I have so much ego. Whether I was falling out of a posture that I thought I had mastered or stumbling over my words as I was teaching, I was constantly reminded of my massive ego. I would feel disappointed in myself or embarrassed for making a mistake and would sit for hours agonizing about how inadequate I was to be at yoga school. But after talking with my teacher, I learned that letting go of your expectations of who think you should be and holding firmly on to who you actually are in any given moment brings you so much freedom in your practice and in your life.

4. Be present. The common monologue running through my head sounds a little like this, “I could touch my toes yesterday, why can’t I today?! What’s wrong with me?” The simple answer to this question is nothing! Our bodies change on a day-to-day basis, according to our mood, the food we eat, the weather, and so many other factors, why do we expect to be the same everyday? Learning to accept these changes and just go with it has made my practice easier and my life less stressful.

3. I don’t need as much I think I need. While packing for India, I decided to bring pretty much everything I own—books, blankets, 14 yoga outfits, granola bars, towels, sheets, computer, etc.…you name it, it was in my bag. However, when I got to yoga school, the priorities shifted from comfort to necessity. My focus was drawn to my practice, learning, and gaining experiences with the people around me—the essence of life. I didn’t use half of the things that I brought. People tend think, “Oh, if I have that, I’ll be happy!” But what they don’t realize is that by clearing out all of the unnecessary objects, we find clarity and simplicity, and from this there comes so much happiness. (Plus, who wants to lug a 40 backpack everywhere?!)

2. My hips are tight, and that’s okay. Being a yogi does not mean that you can pull your leg around your head or that you can do a handstand. Being a yogi means choosing a lifestyle—a lifestyle that includes the physical practice of yoga, but expands to healthy eating, mindfulness, non-violence (plus other personality and character ethics), compassion, acceptance, and many other things—for the sole purpose of living a happy and beautiful life. Choose to come the mat as you are, and that is enough.

1. I am in control of my own happiness. The mind is a powerful tool, and yoga helps you to mold it. Your thoughts, your moods, your senses all determine how you view the world and how you experience your life. Happiness is not a destination; it’s the journey. So ultimately, you can fill your life with positivity and happy things, and your life will be happy. It’s that easy…and ever since I discovered this, I have been able to find happiness in each and every moment, whether trying or joyful, for which of all the lessons I have learned, is what I am most thankful. Thank you again to Samyak Yoga for all of your beautiful teaching, love, and support! 

Thanks for reading,

Namaste,

Christy

Coming to Yoga and My Search for Discipline.

It's no secret. I have decided to run off and do some invigorating stuff while in India. One of my adventures will be a month long intensive 200+ hour study and RYT certification in Ashtanga Yoga with Samyak Yoga. I am excited for this and really have some wonderful expectations. In this blog post I decided to address some of the aspects I am looking to develop, well mostly, the idea of daily duty or discipline. I am reserving blogging about my future plans or intentions for a later date. I know some of the people that are reading this blog are interested in some of the details. Thanks again to those who read this and have interest.

Yoga and wellness is something that has now become completely diffused into the American daily cultural diet...it's something nearly everyone has heard of, if not participated in. Most average Americans now have access to yoga studios or classes in every moderately large city and metro. We have corporate brands like Corepower and fitness centers that offer multi- disciplinary yogas all of which are centered around a fitness and wellness platform. There is a mixed reaction in the yoga community and beyond about this idea. Some feel this fitness-yoga fad is detrimental to the original focus of a personal yoga practice. Most people are not aware of the scope of yogic practices. I personally find it truly amazing to have so many choices. America is blessed with it's abundance of options and education; it is from this access and abundance that I can choose my path of learning. I try to keep that in mind often.

In my daily web searches and diet of reading about yoga, meditation, and dance, I came across this interesting article. It is from Forbes Magazine circa 2012. The debate still holds weight and has an interesting perspective.

The Great Yoga Debate; Has Yoga Sold its Soul?

While I am not subject to any one and exclusive opinion on this topic I do find the debate an interesting one. I can find merit on both sides of this debate, and will hold my personal judgment for a time when I feel I am more indoctrinated into the yogic ideology and have more academic fortitude on the subject. I do agree that yoga as practiced in the West is highly physical and "Asana-centric". I think that is a well-established fact. However, with that said I am not quite sure that this new adapted form of yoga is "wrong" or "lesser"... perhaps it's just evolved to fit another audience.

In any event, yoga in the USA/West is very commercial as the article states, don't even ask my opinion on yoga gear, just don't. The commercialization is gross and of course I do find it all bit outrageous, but what in our modern society is not commercial or adapted for commercial gain? It is all of these factors that just propels me to seek a form of learning that helps me connect to a deeper understanding...and that is what leads me to where I am now and where I am going soon.

My first realization of this East/West division in yoga practice was through the conversations and reactions of many of my Indian friends and family to the idea that someone would go "do" yoga. The idea of yoga and its practice is very removed from what the average Indian person knows and from its historical and philosophical roots as a daily dutiful practice.

Funny story...when I told Appachan (Father-in law) that I was going to do a 200+ hour study in yoga and Ayurveda, he was flabbergasted. I think he may have thought I went crazy, there was a legitimate worry - at least for a few days for him. Because where he comes from in South India, yoga (at least at the level where you go off and study in an Ashram or Shala) is for very holy and religious Hindus. I would clumsily liken it to going off to study the Bible in a convent for a month. Not something the average person is inclined to do. It is only recently becoming a exercise or lifestyle fad in India, and that is designated to the very cosmopolitan cities. My husband had to explain as I have to many others... Here in the USA yoga is something you "do" physically. This is how we here utilize and understand yoga. I realize there are people both locally and in other cities in the USA that are trying for a more "authentic" focus, I respect that, but certainly the norm, and the profit-market resides in the physical-asana-posture related fitness yoga classes and practices.

I am often asked, by family, co-workers, and a smattering of others, about my interest in yogic studies. The truth is, I have a unusual path to yoga. I came to understanding yoga in a way that would seem to be atypical. Of course I had attended classes in my past, yoga in the park and what not, or incorporated asana into a cool down routine, but my real exploration of yoga in a realistic or non-western sense came from my intense study of dance, and specifically Bharatanatyam. I was led to yoga by some of my dance teachers. I was lead there to to find balance, discipline, and relief from physical strain or fatigue. My dance classes often left me the next day feeling fatigue in hip, knee, and joints. I found yoga, that is meditation, breathing, and physical postures relieved some of that stress and primed my mind and body for learning. The effect was immediately noticeable for me. So I dove further and have not stopped learning.

The discipline aspect of yoga is one I find very attractive. It may be why Ashtanga Yoga is the form I feel most attracted to. In Ashtanga Yoga the series set is never changing. I will not go into a heavy duty explanation of Ashtanga...I will let a Wiki link do that for me here.

But in short, Ashtanga is more of a discipline of ethics and responsibilities, some of which are related to physical movement, breath, and locking or muscular contractions (bandhas) -the whole of which are too much to really get into in this short forum. The Ashtanga primary set is one you repeat and perfect over repetition, time, and practice...and I utilize it as a form of physical meditation daily. One word defines this for me; discipline.



"So why go to India?" This is what my Mom asks often. Simply put, I am fortunate; I have connections and opportunity in India that make this endeavor more accessible. This is an expensive pursuit. There are cultural and language barriers that may be detriments for other yoga students. I am familiar with India; I have been there a few times for extended periods. I felt going to India for this coursework seemed like a great opportunity. I hope to make the most of it. I realize my fortune and don't let myself forget that.

My goal is to seek out more. It is my nature to do so. I am a carnivore of information sometimes. I continue to do my daily practice, I seek knowledge on not only the physical but the spiritual and ethical portions of this practice. I have done some very serious investigation into programs of certification. I chose a Yoga program that is highly regarded and RYS accredited. I feel I am seeking learning from people who are considered masters, and both recognized in the Indian and International yoga community. I am doing this for my self enhancement. If there is some kind of progression beyond this that develops I welcome it, but for now I am focused on learning and discipline. A good plan I think!

The debate of "doing it right" or the concept of authenticity in any subject from art, to dance, to writing, to yoga can be a heated debate. There are always those so dedicated to their craft they feel the need to protect it. I respect these people. I also respect change and evolution. I am a middle swimmer…whatever. It is an interesting and worthwhile debate. I appreciate the perspectives.

Namaste.
Christy

Packing and Unpacking...

It's Friday. I just had an amazing week fun of fun and excitement. I am leaving in about two weeks and still have a large amount of packing and unpacking to do.

This week has been wonderful. I have been connecting with new/old friends, entertaining at the house, cooking/eating, celebrating with others, dancing, and receiving blessings before I leave. I really wanted to throw a party, and was fully planning to do that, but life right now is too hectic.

I am not sure how this happens, but life seems to bunch up and get busy all at once. This is a common occurrence for many people...these life shifts keeps me occupied, but right now I feel TOO occupied.

On top of all this excitement I am tying up loose ends with my employer and getting ready to leave what has been seven years of a daily commitment. I thought this exit would be more ceremonious, but in fact it feels just like any other day, not intimating that I expected or expect any special treatment, but I thought the process would just feel more significant. It doesn't - that's also OK.

As I am packing I am realizing how much stuff I have acquired and require to travel for 3 months. While I am a moderate packer, I have a spare bedroom that I have designated as the "packing zone" and have laid out items that will need to be organized and packed. I am very fortunate that I get to visit India annually so I already have a significant wardrobe and cache of my much-coveted American items of comfort already at the house in Thrissur. Appachan (Father) says my room is always ready and waiting for me. I am a very lucky person. I have a room in India always waiting for me and a lovely family, both here and there, to help me navigate life.

More to come on packing...but right now I have a big weekend ahead...
 

Tonight:
Vijaya Dasami - My wonderful friend and dance teacher, Narayanee, is blessing her students with a private puja (blessing ceremony) at her house. This puja marks the final days of the Durga puja and is a very auspicious time and tonight we will request the blessings of Shri Shiva and Shri Ma Saraswati. A wonderful, spiritual blessing for me before I depart.

Tomorrow:
Navratri Garba - I am taking my nieces and meeting up with friends to celebrate the last night of Navratri. We will eat drink and dance with sticks. This will also be a great celebration before I leave.

For those who don't know Navratri is a nine night festival dedicated to the worship of the Hindu deity Durga. This celebration is celebrated many ways throughout India and one special way is in the Garba - a large group dance. I am going to the Guajarati association's local Garba. This will be a great event for my nieces and I look forward to the bright colored dresses, dances, and of course, the food.

Sunday:
Good ol' family dinner at my parent's house. My Mom's baked ham, playing cards, lots and lots of laughter. This will be the last time I can hang out with my family before I leave.

This will also be the first time in my entire life I am away during the entire Holiday season. That is, away from the familiar. Away from the Western traditions that I have become tied to.  That is bittersweet for me, that is also exciting for me.  I will miss them, but I am curious to see how Christmas feels in a Yoga shala, or how Thanksgiving feels during a giant Punjabi wedding. I often think of my husband, Ajith, or my many friends who live here in the USA with me, and how they must aquire these feelings, or rather adjust/adapt them. How does Onam feel in America for Ajith?  I've traveled over holidays or have been away, but always was able to celebrate my holidays with others. This time I will not. What is unique about this trip for me is the way I am also traveling from the smallest of things, adapting new ideas, new ways to breathe, new ways to see, new eyes to see with. This time Christmas is just another day where I will chant, and meditate, and practice Yoga on a beach. Wonderful...What a gift. I will tell you how all these things feel to me when those moments come. One thing I promise is..I will be thinking, (even if just intermittently) of home, turkey, the tree, and my family.

Ha...we all have festivals, celebrations, blessings....luggage issues. We all have people we love and ways to show that love. Much of it universally involves eating...I approve of this.

Namaste,

Christy